A break is as good as a rest.

I've found this ttc break to be exactly what I needed.

TTC fatigue is real, ask anyone who's been trying to get pregnant for more than a year (more than 4 years in my case.) You just get to this "fuck it" point where all the extra things you've been doing to supposedly help the process (but isn't obviously) becomes too much. Every prenatal pill that you've been taking for years without being, you know, actually prenatal becomes a reminder of failure. Other supplements, pills and potions are some sort of infertility punishment rather than hope. Every decaf latte you drowsily sip becomes a futile attempt to pretend you could be pregnant...this time, but you don't really believe it.

But, of course, you still do it. You keep swallowing those prenatals. You keep taking Chaste Tree Extract, False Unicorn Root, extra iron, DHA, Ume Plum Pills and anything else that seems to help some one else get pregnant. You keep ordering your coffee "decaf" and avoiding booze at least the second half of the cycle, if not entirely.

Taking a break relieves you of all that responsibility. You can stop taking all those vitamins and extracts. You can have a double mocha. You can have a glass of wine, a rum & coke, a martini without checking which cycle day you're on.

For the last 3 weeks I've been on a ttc break. I've had booze and caffeine. I didn't take my prenatals and skipped my extracts. I was so very much on break that I thought my period was due this weekend. I was shocked to check my tracker and find that I still wasn't due for another week! It felt so good to not be counting down the days from ovulation to period. I plan on taking next cycle off as well.

The funny thing about taking a break is, now that I've had a few weeks, I have found myself starting up with the prenatals, extracts and pills again. I still go for the caffeine-filled coffee and you better believe that a martini will be made this weekend but I don't feel as bogged down by the rest of the routine. It just seems usual.

I'm hoping that, when we start up again, I will have a feeling of newness. It will be fully spring, I'll be healthier than I have been before in body and mind, we will (hopefully) have a new local donor and Monkey will be in a new, less stressful job. Maybe we will get new results. Who knows! Stranger things have happened.