MIA

So, yeah, I've been missing all summer. I've been feeling pretty ambivalent about this blog. There is so much about ttc here. Coming to this blog seems like I must post about trying to get pregnant or infertility and that feels so...burdening. I do post about other things here but, well, after 6 years of ttc dominating my life those other things are few and far between. Blogging is good for me and I want to continue doing it. I just haven't figured out if it is time to retire this blog and start a new one or continue this one with a commitment to write more about the rest of my life? This will take some thinking.

In the meantime, here are some bullet point updates.

• I'm still ttc with our latest known donor through the end of the year. We have put off our last two infertility intervention tries until at least January. I don't plan on continuing ttc after those tries. I often forget when my period is due now because I only pay attention around insem time. I've been emotionally distancing myself from the process with very little effort.
• Monkey is having a hysterectomy in November because of a hefty fibroid that has taken over his uterus. This doesn't really effect our ttc options as Monkey has never been a possibility for so very many other physical and mental health reasons. It does effect timing and this is why we are postponing the IF tries. I can't imagine trying to handle Clo.mid, IUIs and trigger shots while he is preparing, having, and recovering from surgery. Thankfully, the surgeon is confident that it will be laproscopic surgery so recovery time should be only a few weeks. 
• I've spent the summer really trying to accept and embrace a modified life due to my chronic pain conditions. It has changed the way I do things HUGELY. It is still a struggle not to just push through the pain and finish this or that task. I still hate having to pace myself so carefully. I have managed to accept that I must do this or I will end up even more physically disabled than I already am. 
• I've started baking bread weekly to supply the house rather than buying it. (We do have a back up loaf of store-bought bread this week because I've been sick.) I'm really hoping to get a winter veggie garden up and running as well. This is part of embracing homemaking as my career. I feel like there are so few role models for what I'm doing. I'm no June Cleaver and don't want to be. I'm learning to make my own ideal for being the homemaker for my household (with or without kids).

So, that is the highlights. I'll be posting here still until I decide if I need a clean slate blog or if I want to embrace my baby-crazy past and let the current blog evolve with me. 

I'm off to listen to horror fiction podcasts (or maybe some Nine Inch Nails instead) while I dye some sheets black, clean the bathroom and mop floors. (Yeah, definitely NOT June.) 

Does Google think I'm "evil?"

When Google Plus first started up I really liked the idea, the circles especially. Being able to post things only to specific groups of people seemed like a dream come true. My ttc/infertility folks wouldn't see my kinky/BDSM stuff. My fellow Jews could opt out of seeing pictures of my tattoos. I could keep my polyamory off the public posts. When the the name thing exploded I took a "wait and see" attitude. I did change my profile to my "legal" name but stopped promoting it on my other SocNet/Blog stuff. I also became very careful about what I posted. I'd hoped that Google would come to their senses and stop this name nonsense. Then I'd switch back to my protected name and have a blast in my various circles.

I was wrong. Mr. Schmidt, Google Chairman, has recently been very clear that G+ isn't a SocNet but an "Identity Service." Well, no thank you Google! I don't need or want an identity service. He was also pretty clear that the focus on "real" identity was about online purchasing. (Ah, so it is all about selling crap.) An even bigger "no thank you" on my part. Then the cherry on top of the shit sundae was this quote:

"But my general rule is people have a lot of free time and people on the Internet, there are people who do really really evil and wrong things on the Internet, and it would be useful if we had strong identity so we could weed them out. I’m not suggesting eliminating them, what I’m suggesting is if we knew their identity was accurate, we could rank them. Think of them like an identity
rank."

If you want to see the full transcript of the interview with Schmidt you can see it here: https://plus.google.com/117378076401635777570/posts/CjM2MPKocQP

So, does this mean that all of us who are concerned about privacy, and therefore wish to use something other than our legal names, are budding Internet sociopaths?

I don't need/want an identity service. I don't need yet another way for advertisers to target me and my household. As someone outside the mainstream, I really don't need my legal name plastered on the Internet any more than it already is. So bye bye Google Plus. I'll be deleting my account this weekend.

::sigh:: Too bad. It could have been a great idea.

Google+

Do you have Google+? Do you want to find me on Google+? Search on Google+ for "Yeledov" and you will find me! :) Shiny!