I hate the 2ww but I save a special place in my burning loathing for the second half. The last week of the 2ww is when things get real. You could be really pregnant at that time but it is too early to know for sure. You could also be really not pregnant and any hope is just a delusion. Through it all is the slow march to d-day, the day when your period is due...or the day you will be officially "late". All there is to do is plod along through it, alternately hopeful you are pregnant and convinced it didn't work.
I think it is the uncertainty in the face of potential reality that gets me. Something is happening, or not happening, right at that moment but I can't find out what! I am the worst at obsessively looking for signs of pregnancy even though I know that is silly. The one time I did get pregnant I was convinced I wasn't and, therefore, didn't find out that I had been until the miscarriage started. I don't trust early pregnancy tests to I avoid them for as long as possible. I'm stuck in this road with out knowing my destination. Will I be in bfn town and have to start my journey over again? Or, this time, will I find myself in the magical land of pregnancy and starting on a completely different road? Only time will tell, only waiting will resolve the question.
Fucking Sucks.
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